Sunday, 13 November 2016

How to deal with your Friends hanging out without You

Since we live in the age of Snapchat and everyone these days loves Snap-chatting their lives, there is a high chance we might come across a story that will make our stomachs drop. It could be one of our favourite friends hanging out with each other, without inviting us and that is one of the worst feelings we ever experience.

I too have been in that same position and would like to share my learning’s with you:

Do not over-react

This is going to be the number one thing that you are going to do once you see that story, you will overreact. It might be an internal overreaction where you start questioning yourself and wonder if you have been an annoying friend recently. It could also be an external overreaction where you act moody the next time you meet your friends and try to pick a fight with them. Do not let this affect you so much and save yourself the misery by asking them what happened.

Ask them

You might think you will come across as needy and desperate if you ask them why didn’t they invite you, but it is completely rational to do so. Something we very often forget is that we are living our lives for us and not our friends and if this is bothering you, you deserve to give yourself some closure on the matter. Do try to pick a fight when you ask them what has happened but try to be a bit calm and rational about it.

Let yourself feel

Once again, you might think that you are being overly emotional about something but you need to know that it is completely rational to feel this way. We all feel very bad when we feel like we are being left out from something and we all do start to question ourselves. Stop questioning yourself right away and deal with the feelings of rejection and hurt that you are feeling. Never ever try to brush off your very own feelings.

Do not try to justify it

When you do finally ask your friends the reason and if their explanation does not satisfy you, do not try to justify or rationalize it on their behalf. Especially not if this isn’t the first time that this is happening. You’ll need to make your peace with whatever they have said but that does not include saving their ass and coming up with reasons for them. If your friends aren’t treating you right, ask them why it is and deal with what they say. Do not make excuses just because you don’t want to lose a good group of friends. If you think about it, if they were such good friends you would not be feeling so bad.

If it happens again and again, let go

If this instance of them not inviting you to hang out has happened more than a couple of times, you need to get the hint and move on. Try to phase yourself away from the group and get less affected by what they say and do. Life is too short to waste it on people who do not value you and your time.

Written by Sanaa Mehra
Avid reader who will read anything thrown her way (provided that its fiction), Grammar Nazi to the T and a Lover of anything made by Bollywood (I mean anything.) If you're feeling sentimental, here I am!

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