Before you start wondering,if you ever heard about the title of this article earlier, let me get it for you. This title has been inspired by a short story written by Chinua Achebe, “Marriage is a private affair” which is one of my personal favorites. So, here is a suggestion,do give it a read.
Coming to what the idea is about.In the story,the writer has tried to establish the fact that it is the love and understanding between two people that actually forms the base of their married life. Set up in a small village of a foreign country, the story is about a young couple, who love each other and get married, despite the opposition of the groom’s father. The young couple has to face a lot of hostility in the society, and to fight against many odds, until they are eventually accepted by the society and then their family.
Now, it is certain that you must be wondering why we are talking about this story here. The fact is, that despite love marriages becoming increasingly popular these days in India, they are still considered to bring dishonor to a family, in our society. Now, some of you, who have never faced such a situation, might not think that this fact is valid, but believe it or not,this is true.
With more and more young people today wanting to marry by their own choice, the old existing concepts of started to fade a little, especially in urban areas. While a few people have accepted the changing world, for good, the idea remains undigested for a major portion of our older generation.
The idea of arranged marriages is certainly not that bad. After all, we must all have seen some really successful marriages,that were arranged. There is certainly a lot more respect,between the two people and there is no doubt about the fact that understanding and love can be developed even after marriage.
Having said so, however, does not mean that love marriages are bound to be less successful in any manner. In fact, there is more compatibility and understanding between the people involved.
Most of the times, why people are not willing to accept the idea of the younger generation marrying someone by their choice is because they are concerned more about what the society will think, rather than what they themselves think about it. Also, our traditional system of large families (which, to be very clear is not something that is bad) makes such issue even more complicated. For us, it is not desirable, but mandatory that both the families agree with each other and with the choice of their children, so that they can get married. This is something that is the most unlikely to happen in a love marriage.
But that certainly does not mean that the concept of love marriages is wrong. Instead, it only means that our society has made it a lot more complicated issue then it is.
There is always a scope of development and accepting new ideas only help us progress. Having made the idea clear, just one question: In our country, how far do you think of Marriage as a private affair?
Written by Avinash Srivastava
A Writer of Stories, Loves Novels and Movies