Wednesday, 10 August 2016

How to get over someone you never dated?

When you read that title, you might have been a bit confused. What is there to get over when you and the other person were never in a relationship, to begin with? In fact, since we live in a world that does not believe in relationships anymore, there is a lot.

Most people these days meet somewhere (online or organically), start a virtual relationship (follow each other on all social media sites, WhatsApp 24/7) and then end it within a few months. While this might not seem like a lot, one of the two people does get emotionally attached and has a tough time moving on. This article is for you, the person who has not been able to move on so far.


Just because the two of you were not in a ‘relationship’, that does not make what you had any less special. Do not feel bad about the fact that you are having a tough time moving on, accept it and life will be much easier for you. Let yourself feel bad about it, cry over it if you need to. Do not make the mistake of holding it in and pretending like it did not matter to you.


Every single one of you is going to go through this phase where you will feel extreme hate towards the person who ended it with you. You will ask your best friends to insult them, you will try to think bad thoughts about them and you might even have violent scenarios made up in your mind. This is also a process of moving on. Do not act on these feelings, please, but do let your imagination run wild.


Once the phase of anger goes away, you will start missing that person eventually. You will extensively stalk their social media, re-read your messages with them and even check when they were last seen online. And that is completely natural. Try to phase yourself out of it, by keeping the number of views on their profile per day to as little as you can.


Try reconnecting with an old friend, meeting the people you had lost touch with, read a book, watch a movie and just try to keep your mind occupied. Try to think of them as little as possible, by doing something else with your time and your mind. It will not be easy at all,  but it is the only way to move on.


You might think that keeping them in your life as a friend is a good idea, but it will not help in the moving on process. You will always have thoughts of what could have been and it will be torture for you. Try to keep minimum contact with them, unfollow them if you need to and stop asking around about them.

Moving on from anyone that we have grown attached to, is not easy. Getting your heart broken is terrible even if you were never technically ‘with’ that person. The most important thing you need to do is give yourself time. After all, time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart.

Written by Sanaa Mehra
Avid reader who will read anything thrown her way (provided that its fiction), Grammar Nazi to the T and a Lover of anything made by Bollywood (I mean anything.) If you're feeling sentimental, here I am!
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