Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.As an individual of this society, all of us have managed to convince each other that our understanding of what’s unabridged and what’s abridged is correct. Pretty sure that you’ve seen the Raymond advertisements flashing -- The Complete Man at the end of each of these 10-second ads.
- Robert Browning
Why is it that you’re so easily convinced that wearing a certain garment material will make a phallus bearing human complete? And why is it that giving birth is the only proof of being a “good” woman? Of all the things that we as humans are expected to do are divergent from what you as a man and I as a woman are expected to do.
My mother, your amma, his ammi, her aayi have never failed to tell us that – “You’ll understand when you become a parent, you’ll know what it feels like.” And mind you, she always wants you to be a parent first, and then anything else that you want to be. Not a pinch of doubt or any kind of second thoughts about “Giving birth is the most beautiful feeling ever.”
As a human, I cannot do that, I must not do that. But, to use this frequently repeated line to us cannot be used to define what completes us. A human, male or female, is the most incomplete being you’ll ever encounter. Always learning, always making mistakes and always changing.
Let a woman hold a cigarette and count how many times she’s made aware of the fact that smoking is going to mess her reproductive organs up. No, like when are you going to tell her that a cigarette might kill her? With no disregard for anyone’s concerns, but high time that we care about a fellow human first and then a woman or a man.
And what about personal choices?
This is when one can be accused of being very clichéd. All that talk about independent-strong-woman/man who does not have time for bearing a child is again throwing an impression at the world. And of course there’s some more to this where a woman bears the “pain” of giving birth and the man…well, he bears no pain.
Wrong. All wrong.
Motherhood and fatherhood is for you when you’re ready. That’s all there is to this.
Tomorrow if you’re shamed for not leading a family life because you prioritized something else, be rest assured that it is because of this notion of a “Complete Man and a Complete Woman”.
Written by Smita Ganguli
Aspiring cyber journalist but too damn opinionated.