Thursday, 7 July 2016

How to annoy people?

A lot of people have received a master’s degree in annoying people. Here is a useful starter guide for everyone who wants to learn how to annoy people:

Insult someone’s music taste
Music is something that is personal to everybody. Whatsoever the genre is, it’s music. A wonderful, terrific effort is put together to create something that means something to the creator and the listener. Insulting something that someone has worked on for so long is flat-out rude and annoying. Saying rock is better than pop to someone who loves pop doesn’t make you sound smart.

Interrupt someone while talking

Interrupting people while they’re talking is the A-one way of not making friends and getting onto everyone’s ‘annoying people’ list. If you want to get on a person’s good side and also be perceived as a good person, don’t interrupt the person who’s talking.

Eating with your mouth open

Chewing with your mouth open is something that 50% of the people do, 100% of the time. That irritating sound the mouth makes while chewing the food is enough to aggravate anyone.

Make a racist / homophobic / sexist comment

“He’s so black that even the space without the sun looks bright in comparison.” “Eww, you’re wearing pink! That’s so gay!” “She can’t cook? She’s good for nothing,” are some of the very famous and celebrated quotes by annoying people.

Worship Donald Trump

Worshiping Donald Trump (or as some people call him, Hitler’s spawn) just shows how much you think and watch his speeches on YouTube before liking him. If you watch his speeches and still continue worshipping him, congratulations! You’re a whole new level of annoying. Believing in all forms of God is easier than believing in how he can make America ‘great’ again.

Make fun of something a person can’t change about themselves

Whether it is the way one talks, their accent, their height or the way they look, making fun of a person might make your self-esteem feel better, but will certainly make the sensible people around you hate you. This is a guaranteed way of annoying and infuriating everyone you surround yourself with.

Think mental illness ain’t no biggie

Lack of education and more of arrogance and ignorance can lead to some people thinking that mental illness is just ‘all in your head’. Thinking that a person only fakes the illness because he/she wants more attention is even more annoying. Also, thinking that just because you can’t see the illness, the person doesn’t have it is like believing you don’t have a brain just because you’ve never seen it. This can also make you very annoying.

Look down upon a person because they prefer Kindle

Again, this comes with imposing your opinions on other people. Just because a person tells you that they read eBooks and not paperbacks, doesn’t mean you should start ranting about how paperback books are the best and that they’re not real book-lovers if you don’t want to be annoying.

These simple steps will transform you into being super-annoying. You might even be acknowledged as infuriating by getting a few punches.

Written by Durva Bhatt
A bibliophile who is fuelled entirely by caffeine, sarcasm, fandoms and random thoughts.

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