Thursday, 28 July 2016

5 ways the Patriarchal Society is harmful for Men

In any culture, the minds of men and women have been engraved with what they have to do and what role they have to play in the society. India is predominantly a patriarchal society: where little boys are taught how they are to control women and how women are taught how they should be controlled by men. Throughout the years, modernization has broadened the horizons of people and the patriarchal system is slowly losing the grips it has on the Indian Society and the mindset of the people living in it.

1. The patriarchal society defines men by their Sexuality and Masculinity. 

Men are seen as sexual beings and are defined by their sexuality. Phrases like ‘It’s in his blood’ and ‘men only want one thing’ trains men to see themselves as a threat to womanhood.

Men are supposed to be the protectors of the family and the woman. They are supposed to not ask for help as doing so would make them less of a man in the condescending eyes of the society.

Men are also pressurized to look a certain way: Wearing ‘feminine’ colours and applying nail polish will surely earn a couple of ‘hawws’ from the neighboring aunty. Gender stereotypes are harmful for everyone.

2. Patriarchy makes Men the sole breadwinner of the family. 

Although we are now ‘liberal’ and women are allowed to work, their salary is considered additional to what the man earns. The financial pressure of the family is still on the man. 

3. Men are supposed to choose a Stable Career.

In relation to the above topic, men need to get a stable job (which includes professions like being an engineer, doctor, architect, chartered accountant etc.). When they aspire to make a career out of anything else but the more masculine ones, the society is ready to frown upon the individuals. If men could choose what they really wanted to become without any societal pressure, it would create a harmonious society of equality.

4. Men are not supposed to seek Help.

Men are laughed at if they express on how they are being sexually assaulted or violated: physically or mentally. Men make up for 10% - 38% of sexually assaulted victims and since most of the laws are favoring women, men are not taken seriously if they are the victims. From birth, the standards set for men are also impossible. They aren’t supposed to cry or express any sort of emotion towards anyone else. Some have argued that the reason there is a higher rate of suicide for men is because of this very reason.

5. They are not supposed to be Feminists. 

If you’re not aware who a feminist is, a feminist is anyone who supports equal rights and believes in women empowerment. You are a feminist if you’re repulsed with sexism: against women and men. Society (obviously) sees feminism as a bad thing and men who support feminism are often insulted. 

As much as men benefit from the patriarchal society, the disadvantages clearly outweigh the advantages. Fortunately, feminism dismantles the patriarchal society and if we all work together, the roots of patriarchy can be unearthed and then, equality will not only be a clause in the constitution.

Written by Durva Bhatt
A bibliophile who is fuelled entirely by caffeine, sarcasm, fandoms and random thoughts.

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